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23 July 2011 @ 06:22 pm
FAN FIC: spn | darkship prompt meme | drink up, baby (Sam/Ruby)  
Supernatural | Sam/Ruby | PG-13, language, character death | S4E22 Lucifer Rising | drink up, baby written for THE DARKSHIP PROMPT MEME!
PROMPT TABLE
1. It's, as said, a fact that I dislike S4!Ruby and don't really fan Sam's character either because they made them both so stupid, but there is something about this pairing (perhaps potential?) that peeks my interest. If only had they not ass-raped the demon in the end and turned her from one kick-ass blond to a love-sick brunette wussy, I could have lived with the whole Sam/Ruby deal, really. I could have. But as it is... just no! So, yeah, perhaps that is why I needed to make a short character study concerning Ruby. I really love the character, after all, and I would like to like S4!Ruby, too, but in order for that I'd first have to understand her... this is my method of trying.
2. Yes, the tenses switch. They're supposed to - but since the fic hasn't been beta-read, do tell me if there are a bunch of horrific grammatical errors, thanks!


DRINK UP, BABY

Ruby remembers vague bits and pieces, randoms words like choices, Dumbo, hard to see, Azazel, Lilith, the only one, always, you, him, free, he's gonna, repay, you can’t even, too late, don't care melting together and they'd probably make a sentence and a whole lot more sense, too, if she wasn't tasting death. If she wasn't dying.

She remembers the warmth of his body so sudden against her back that it takes her by surprise, Dean's face and the raging anger in his eyes, so full of hate. The cold steel of her own knife, the irony of the whole goddamn situation, and the pain - she remembers all that too.

Not like this!

And,

---

There's Sam, fighting with three Deadly Sins when Ruby chooses to enter his life. She'd planned to stay hidden for a little while longer, she'd planned to observe a bit more to learn what moves and pushes him forward, really, but at that point in time, she couldn't take the risk of losing him. Not to a fucking Sin.

Although, to think of it, it is a sin of another kind that gets to him in the end.

She never really regrets the decision of jumping in to save his ass; it becomes ridiculously obvious, quite fast, that there was nothing else for her to learn anyways. Since the beginning of the Holy War, if not even earlier, every demon smart enough has always known that there is only one absolute truth when it comes to the Winchesters.

Dean, he lives to protect his family just as his little brother lives and breathes revenge and when she understands the meaning of absolute, when it sinks in, the rest is just improvising.

---

The first time they have sex (neither of them ever call it making love, because they both know better) Dean is in Hell and for her, it only sweetens the pot. While the older Winchester is being tortured by Alastair six ways from Sunday, Sam, he's caged as well, but the bars of his Hell are his own making. Then again, so are Dean's.

Ruby tries her best to both hide her amusement as well as nudge Sam into the right direction.

She doesn't exactly plan for them to have a physical relationship; she goes with the flow and it kind of happens... a window, an opportunity. In fact, in the beginning of her journey, just the simple idea of sleeping with a fucking hunter makes sick to her meat-suit stomach, brings that sour taste of disgust to her throat and for the longest time she can't even understand how it got so far.

Truth is that at some point everything changes, turns somehow upside-down. One day she looks into his eyes and what she sees isn't the old Sam, the one who thought there's more to life than payback. She knows that this, though she can't tell exactly when that happened, is when the idea stops being revolting. It becomes a fantasy and not only hers.

The first time he kisses her, she knows the End is only a matter of time.

---

There she is, with Sam in their motel room when it's Dean's turn to calmly enter their life. It takes only a one knock on the door to shake her game. She's surprised, at first, but after the initial shock, there's nothing but pure anger. Why the fuck did they not keep him somewhere unreachable, perfectly hidden from those pompous sons of bitches?

It's only without Dean that Sam can evolve, reach his true potential and be strong the way he has to be to get through it alive - she's not sure if his survival is needed at the end, but she wishes for it anyway.

So, yeah, when Dean reappears, cheating Death the way only a Winchester can, she's royally pissed off and wishing she could rip the wings off of that one fucking angel, for good. Still, she holds her tongue and her temper and goes forward with the plan, playing her cards and her part. She's a soldier, after all, and a soldier always finds a way through small setbacks.

---

It takes time, which is something the demon doesn't have endlessly, but luckily she's got enough. She's got Sam so wrapped around her finger, the whole element of surprise when it comes to Sam and well, Dean starts softening up real nice, too, although Ruby isn't stupid enough to blindly trust any of it. Dean, he's too much of a hunter, after all, in all the right ways just like his Dad always was.

Ruby calculates and decides that all she needs to do is go slow about finding the right buttons to push and that's exactly what she does. Sam's hot spots are so damn easy to find that it doesn't take long, only a second, for the younger Winchester to grow addicted. Addicted to her, to the blood and most of all, to the power he thinks she's giving him.

It becomes really fucking obvious that Sam's inner struggle, it's always been about power; always being too little or too much of something. Too young to save Mom, too unprepared to protect Jessica, too oblivious to Dad's plans, too stupid to find a way to break Dean's deal, too powerless to get him out of the Pit.

After that it's all drink up, baby all the fucking time and sometimes, though she tries her hardest, she can't hide the self-satisfied smirk or the excitement.

Soon.

---

She remembers being hunted and hated by her own kind, she remembers being tortured by Alastair even though it should have been Dean on the rack, his guts on the floor. All through it, every second the only thing she wanted to scream was a confession, I'm on your side, you fucking son of a bitch but she didn't, said nothing, only went with the plan she'd made with the Winchesters because Lilith would have had her head otherwise.

Trapped, in pain, with the confession right there at the tip of her tongue, she's trying to tell herself that you've waited so long already, what's another torture, huh? Ever since the hell-hounds came to shred her apart, ever since Lilith gave her the option of serving her. It's so close, everything she's been waiting and fighting for ever since she forgot what it was to be human. Not that she'd remember any of it, being that pitiful creature, but she knows the tale in Lilith's words.

Alistair is dispensable, Sam not so much and so she stays strong, for Lilith and for Lucifer and for the better world He'll create.

She remembers hating Alastair for being so fucking stupid, so fucking blind.

---

Soon.

There was supposed to be Lucifer. There was supposed to be Lucifer and her and Sam and the whole apocalypse, Hell on Earth with the demons running the show and the pathetic little human beings begging for mercy, kneeling.

There was supposed to be order and demonic peace for her kind without the hunters making everything so fucking difficult. Lilith always spoke of a reward.

All gone.

---

Dean's face and the raging anger in his eyes, so full of hate (the cold steel, the pain) and she remembers her plans for this man. To her they were grand and beautiful, just. She would've asked for His permission to be the one to kill Dean and she would've lied to Sam, blamed someone else for their sake. Just for his acceptance.

She knows better than she remembers how it's not love she feels for Sam, not that sad, clingy and needy thing humans feel for one another, but something different, a bond that can only be formed between demons of the same kind. Lust, attachment, devotion; they're not exclusively for humans and hunters though they sure like to view them as such. She convinces herself that more than that, it's about Sam's potential, about the level he could reach if only Dean wasn't there. The truth is less complicated, of course.

She would've told Lucifer, in the end, because no one flat-out lies to Him, she would've said, there's that

And,

I just don't want to share with Dean, not anymore.

---

Before her final death, the demon's last thought is, not like this, and then she remembers no more.
 
 
 
vaarna: tscc: sarah junglevaarna on July 23rd, 2011 04:33 pm (UTC)
This was all kinds of awesome. Great voice for Ruby, definitely unifies the two Rubies into one vicious, smart, lovable demoness. Her hatred for Dean, her bond with Sam, the way she suffers in order to get her way and in the end she loses - I like your Ruby.

This makes sense now. Especially the way s4!Ruby kept jumping around like a kid on Christmas in the s4 finale. I dunno, you made her childishness walk in her with her demon side.

And you got your first prompt done. Congrats!
syrai aka syrainatorcharming_syrai on July 23rd, 2011 04:55 pm (UTC)
Oh, cool, you liked it! Thanks :D *relieved*

In the beginning, after a paragraph or so, I was so sure this fic would not work out despite my big plans; that there was no way I could successfully combine those two sides of Ruby that we saw and make it a whole character without dissing the other (mainly, S4!Ruby) but when I got it flowing, it just... as said, made sense.

I guess I sort of started seeing what Kripke may have tried to express with the character, what the finale was (or could have been, potentially) all about, though I still think G was totally WRONG and too far away from Cassidy for the character.

I guess I just worked with the stuff the show had already given and added my own two cents to build the kind of (s4!)Ruby that I can tolerate a bit better :D Still, I would have been happier had she NOT gone for his acceptance the way I felt she did in the finale, but as said, I worked with what the show had given and what can I say, canon is canon *sigh*

I know! Admit it, you never thought I'd be this fast ;) Now I just gotta decide which pairing to focus on next...